Hi! in this post i just wanna blurt out everything that i'm feeling inside haha maybe it'll really help me forget or something. Basically i was in love. My first love. haha Erm, i thought (like how everyone did) from the start that it'll go well but it didnt. My relationship lasted for a short while and i'm not going to tell you how short it was. When she asked for the break up, i asked myself, what the hell did i do wrong but i cant seem to find anything and she said it was just her.

i thought being friends after that will be easy but nope, it's not easy cause from lovers to friends, the transition is hard. Like what if, you're friends with her but we all know that you still have feelings for her and she went out with someone else or she calls others darling and other things too. Ouch yeah? But i try not to think about it.

i tried to work things out and i'd accept anything such as since you're busy and all, we wont meet that often, or text that often or something. But you didnt want that with me. i gave it a thought, like if a person like someone else, then go ahead and i wont stop what you want to do but really, it hurts inside.

I still think about you every single day but it's a bad thing cause i know you like someone else and sometimes i'll imagine you being with him. hahaha i'd rather have amnesia and forget about all that la really. I'm feelin kinda ashamed cause i'm trying so hard and your friends can see it and they told you to totally ignore me. hahaha i hope i wont bump into any of them outside or i'll just act as if i dont see them. HEH

But i'm thankful at the same time cause i hate people having scandals, who will cheat and when i was in a relationship, i'm not like those people. i know that i'm gonna be faithful to my future girlfriend. But i dont think it'll be soon but who knows :)

i once said "i want you to be my first and the last" but somehow i can see it getting more and more unreal. hahahaha

Ciao.

internet up!

I've not been online cause of my internet problem with mac and i just solved it like five mins ago. hehe. i'll update a proper post soon. Not inspired to post one now. :)

Facts about me. I'm so kental I know. Haha I'm twenty but I only had 1 ex girlfriend and it didn't work out. Actually I don't know if it's considered a relationship but I don't think so cause it takes two hands to clap but it's only me. Ok whatever, anyway, another fact about me, I haven't kissed a girl. Lol kental I know but I don't give a fuck. I don't like it going around kissing girls. I just want the "one". It's going to be hard but I know she's out there somewhere. In my whole life I've only dated 2 girls. Hahaha I've never asked any girl's number outside. Overall you can say that I'm a coward. Or maybe I'm gay? Hahaha I detest people who cheat. I just wanna tell them to stop but I don't wanna make any enemies. So I just let it be. I'm too nice I know. Sometimes I wonder why I was not born a playboy. It'll be easier and more fun that way. I don't even know how to date. Fml